Decisions, Decisions.
Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me what to do with my life, that someone being my Heavenly Father. I've been on the fence lately about what I really want to major in, and I just can't seem to find the perfect thing for me individually. I've jumped from Wildlife Biology, to Zoology, to Primary Education (which was quickly dropped), to Exercise Science, to Nursing, back to Exercise Science, and currently.....I'm stuck. Sort of.
I'm enrolled in Anatomy this semester, and I love it. It's hard to look at the cadavers and study off of them, but it's getting easier. And because I struggled at first and still do to an extent, the process of overcoming that struggle makes me love the class even more. I'm so grateful that it is difficult for me, because it makes my progress even sweeter, and gives me something that I have to work hard at. I know that I want to do something with the body, something that will greatly help others, and something that I can utilize in other countries. Call me crazy, but I want to work in other countries, especially really poor, struggling ones. It's truly all I want, as far as a "career" goes, although I consider a way of life rather than a career.
Tonight, I was thinking about Medical School. When I first decided on medicine (when I first chose Nursing), I felt euphoric. I knew that medicine was the right path for me. Actually, ever since my health problems in high school I knew that my life would have something to do with medicine, as well as compassion for those struggling. People ask why I chose Nursing at first, since I'd been stuck on Zoology for years, but although I love it, I know I could never be truly satisfied and content with my life. I want to help people. I want to serve others, and in turn, serve God. And although I know I could help people as a Nurse, I don't know if that will be enough. I don't know. And I don't know when I will know, but I know that God knows. And, with a little (or maybe a lot) of patience, He'll lead me there. I am so grateful to know that He will lead me down the path that is right for me, and that I don't have to find it all on my own.
Of course, the whole Medical School (specifically podiatry, I think?) thing makes me think, "Emily, do you really think you're capable of that?" And then I think of all my downfalls, all of the things I struggle with, all of the things that could keep me away from such a lofty goal. I think of all the people who would tell me that I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not "man" enough. I've thought of all these things, but you know what, I don't care. I've learned lately that it doesn't matter what other people think. It doesn't matter. And I don't care. Because I can do whatever I put my mind to. People will always doubt, people will always try to convince you otherwise (and this goes for so many convictions), but YOU are the one in charge. You know what you're capable of, and so does God. And that is all that matters.
As much as I wish someone would tell what major would make me happy, I am kind of enjoying the journey. It's up and down and back and forth, but I like that my options are always open. I know that I'm in the right direction, and I know that my Heavenly Father will continue to lead me on. He has blessed me so much up to this point, and has never abandoned me. And He never will.
Until then, I'll just be hangin on. Isn't the journey of life just beautiful?
Absolutely beautiful! I love that I'm not always in control, and that even though I'm not, someone I can always trust has a plan. I may not see it right now, but I know it's there.
Despite uncertainty, I will be happy. Despite trials, I am in charge of my attitude and level of happiness.
Life is beautiful, so let's all just be happy, and enjoy the ride.
emily
I'm enrolled in Anatomy this semester, and I love it. It's hard to look at the cadavers and study off of them, but it's getting easier. And because I struggled at first and still do to an extent, the process of overcoming that struggle makes me love the class even more. I'm so grateful that it is difficult for me, because it makes my progress even sweeter, and gives me something that I have to work hard at. I know that I want to do something with the body, something that will greatly help others, and something that I can utilize in other countries. Call me crazy, but I want to work in other countries, especially really poor, struggling ones. It's truly all I want, as far as a "career" goes, although I consider a way of life rather than a career.
Tonight, I was thinking about Medical School. When I first decided on medicine (when I first chose Nursing), I felt euphoric. I knew that medicine was the right path for me. Actually, ever since my health problems in high school I knew that my life would have something to do with medicine, as well as compassion for those struggling. People ask why I chose Nursing at first, since I'd been stuck on Zoology for years, but although I love it, I know I could never be truly satisfied and content with my life. I want to help people. I want to serve others, and in turn, serve God. And although I know I could help people as a Nurse, I don't know if that will be enough. I don't know. And I don't know when I will know, but I know that God knows. And, with a little (or maybe a lot) of patience, He'll lead me there. I am so grateful to know that He will lead me down the path that is right for me, and that I don't have to find it all on my own.
Of course, the whole Medical School (specifically podiatry, I think?) thing makes me think, "Emily, do you really think you're capable of that?" And then I think of all my downfalls, all of the things I struggle with, all of the things that could keep me away from such a lofty goal. I think of all the people who would tell me that I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not "man" enough. I've thought of all these things, but you know what, I don't care. I've learned lately that it doesn't matter what other people think. It doesn't matter. And I don't care. Because I can do whatever I put my mind to. People will always doubt, people will always try to convince you otherwise (and this goes for so many convictions), but YOU are the one in charge. You know what you're capable of, and so does God. And that is all that matters.
As much as I wish someone would tell what major would make me happy, I am kind of enjoying the journey. It's up and down and back and forth, but I like that my options are always open. I know that I'm in the right direction, and I know that my Heavenly Father will continue to lead me on. He has blessed me so much up to this point, and has never abandoned me. And He never will.
Until then, I'll just be hangin on. Isn't the journey of life just beautiful?
Absolutely beautiful! I love that I'm not always in control, and that even though I'm not, someone I can always trust has a plan. I may not see it right now, but I know it's there.
Despite uncertainty, I will be happy. Despite trials, I am in charge of my attitude and level of happiness.
Life is beautiful, so let's all just be happy, and enjoy the ride.
emily
I loved this post. You go girl! I know you can do anything you set your mind to :)
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