Embracing the Raw Moments

I was talking with a friend yesterday about how much I value the raw moments of humanity. She seemed a little confused as to what I meant by this phrase, so I explained.

The raw moments of humanity are those instances--sometimes long, other times brief and fleeting--that connect humans in a more intimate, vulnerable, honest, understanding way. To me, they include working in a nursing home; visiting sick in the hospital; working in an Ugandan hospital; reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed; deep conversations about intimate things kept very close to the heart; moments of trial and hardship; moments of self-discovery or enlightenment in complete solitude; moments deep in the mountains, alone from the world, where God feels very close; moments when people are lacking their own strength so, regardless of religious belief, they seem to acknowledge the presence of something greater than themselves. For those that do believe in God, they seem to give up pride and latch onto Him with greater urgency in these moments. They are moments of humility, sometimes forced by circumstance but sometimes chosen by will. They are moments of total vulnerability by one party, and total acceptance by the other. They are moments of growth, insight, and mutual respect. They are moments when people bare their soul--as ragged and raw as we all are, in some form--to another human being.

I love these moments because they are when you can see people in TOTAL honesty: without the walls and facades that people develop to appear strong despite the wrenching heartache they have experienced. I'd argue that most people, despite how happy they appear, probably also have something very hard they are experiencing. I'm a firm believer that we are all a little messed up, but that's the beauty of vulnerability. I have discovered that most people shy away from talking about these things because they demand vulnerability, and can make one feel emotionally naked and uncomfortably weak. But I love these moments because they foster increased understanding and mutual respect between two different people or cultures. It is in these moments of vulnerability--raw humanity--where I learn the most truth and gain the most understanding about the world and its people.

I have this voracious appetite when it comes to learning about and understanding people and cultures. It's like a black hole; I'm constantly yearning to understand and discover more. I want to know why people do what they do; what drives you internally? It is one of the appetites that can't be totally satisfied in the classroom, but instead in the daily world as I go about living life.

I think a lot of good can come from this daily search to more fully understand and connect deeply with others. It will bring a lot of joy into your life. I think every person, aware or not, is always searching for that deep, lasting joy. I think we all yearn after it, really. I've found that in my search, I never fully acknowledge the beauty of the moment until it has passed. There is something about time that solidifies the impact of a moment or experience.

The past few months of my life have been SO INCREDIBLE, mostly because it has been a time of insane growth. It has been filled to the brim with these moments of raw humanity, coming to understand others and myself on a whole new level. I am so grateful for the moments I have had that have helped me progress in this regard. My soul has definitely been illuminated.

I am so grateful for this incredible life that I have been blessed to live. A few moments from the past little while, experiencing the world and developing stronger relationships with others and myself:

Inspiring bike rides with incredible people in breath-taking places (Colorado National Monument in Grand Junction, CO).
I love cycling because it allows me to see the world on a whole new level, and has helped me to develop some of my closest friendships.

Camping and hiking in beautiful places (Goblin Valley) with other beautiful souls. This trip reminded me of how much world I still have to explore, and the awesome people I will meet along the way.

Exploring the mountains (up Alpine Loop) with some seriously inspiring, uplifting people.
These people have become some of my greatest friends, pushing me to explore more, learn more, and love more. 

More bike rides with people I love!

Nature hikes (Stewart Falls) and deep talks with best friends (Bailey Peters).
She and I have this freakish connection---she just gets me, and I get her. 

Solitary rides just before sun sets...just me and my thoughts riding through the backroads of Provo and Orem in the sweet light. It's a truly healing thing. 

Creating new best friends and just being silly at the triathlon team party. 

Concerts in the best of venues...with people and music that illuminate your soul.
This was a really rough day for me, but one that has proven essential in so many ways. These people, along with my sister, were my rock.

Creating more best friends and exploring unknown places....on beautiful Sunday bike cruises. This girl is a WELL of wisdom, optimism, and kindness. 

The only photo from the day I spent running through the mountains....the result of running free and camera-less.
Those 20 miles were blissful and comforting in a way that I can't really explain. There is just something about silently racing through the mountains and trees on tiny trails.  

Our trip to Colorado, visiting Hanging Lake along the way. I had never seen this part of the world, and it was breath-taking. This whole weekend--racing in carefree races, swimming in freezing rivers, climbing steep trails, exploring downtown Denver, meeting new and inspiring people--illuminated my soul (my new favorite phrase). These girls have quickly become some of my best friends, and definitely some of the best people I know.