Answers are a funny thing.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost

I repeat the above quote to myself quite often; every day in fact.

As many of you know (if anyone actually reads this bloggity blog blog;), I had a mission call earlier this year. I wanted to serve a mission so badly {and i still do}. It was my hope and dream a year ago this month. But when my call finally came in January of 2013, I knew the timing wasn't right. I didn't know why, but I knew the Lord needed me to stay.

Fast forward 9 months to October. I started thinking about a mission again. I wanted to go, so badly. I prayed a lot, I talked to a lot of people {and the Man Upstairs}. I thought maybe I'd resubmit my papers and try again. Maybe this time was the right time.

On Monday of last week, however, I emailed my bishop. I talked with him about resubmitting my papers. I asked for his advice. And advice he gave me. Certain scriptures to search, to read, to ponder, to pray over. And so I followed his advice. But the answer I got was definitely not the answer I expected.

I'm going to go to Medical school (but probably PA school first, and then a PA to DO program later).
I'm going to become a doctor.
I'm not entirely sure how.
I feel excited and jittery and fearful just thinking about it
But for some unknown reason, I truly believe it's right for me, and that He knew it all along, I just needed to be eased into the idea.
And  e a s e d  I was. ;)

Remember this post? (This post, too? Even this one? Almost 2 years ago on the dot. :) )

Man, I remember the night I wrote that first post. I was so fed up with feeling like I wasn't good enough. I was so fed up with feeling like people looked down on me, and I knew I was one of those people. I wrote those posts TWO years ago. (Two?! TWO?! Where'd the time go?!)

When I was in middle school, I was amazed by doctors. I always used to think how fascinating they were, mostly because in my mind they were super heroes (and holy cow, they went through what seemed like a lot of schooling to 7th grade me). I didn't think I could ever do that; honestly, the idea seemed totally out of the picture. But still, the thought always remained in my mind. I'm sure we all have those feelings in our lives that seem to take root and never let go. Med school has been like that for me.

My first semester ay BYU, I decided I wanted to study Nursing. I'd had health issues in high school, my mother had an extensive list of health issues, and I loved the sciences. These experiences, as well as many others earlier in life, lead me to medicine. I first chose Nursing because for me, it was enough. But only for a time. . . it just didn't feel right.

Last Winter, a friend asked me what a life goal of mine was. I told him that it would be a dream (maybe in reality a nightmare ;) come true for me to go to med school, and learn the art of healing. But, I can't do that for real, I told myself. I'll settle for PA school. That's enough for me. And I was satisfied, for a time.

This summer, I started thinking about my talents, my passions. I thought a whole lot, for a long time. I loved allopathic medicine, but I also loved the idea of preventative medicine--of encouraging lifestyle changes, healthy eating, exercise, and healing the body as a whole. There's something I'm really passionate about, I thought. (I didn't know it at the time, but there's actually a study of medicine that focuses precisely on that--and it's called osteopathic medicine.)

In September, I decided to pursue Physical Therapy, because it focuses a lot on healing through natural remedies. I really liked the idea. . .a lot. I didn't like, however, that I'd have to forgo studying medicine. Boo. 

On Tuesday, after praying and pondering over a mission once again the night before, the thought came to my mind to go to medical school. Just like *poof!* it popped into my mind and made it's home. It hasn't left since. It feels right at this moment. It feels good.

And then a few nights ago, at 1 am nestled into my cozy bed, I came across this mysterious (. . . or not so mysterious) study of medicine called osteopathic. There are two ways to become a doctor: get your M.D. or O.D. Like I mentioned earlier, I love the idea of preventative medicine, and of taking advantage of our body's natural abilities to heal themselves. Obviously this isn't always possible, but that's why Doctors of Osteopathic Medicine are trained in both areas of expertise.

And, like a puzzle that's been slowly put together, at once everything clicked and the picture was finally clear.

Despite the uncertainty and anxiety, amidst it all what I feel most is peace. With my mission call, that's what was missing. There wasn't fear or anxiety, but simply a lack of peace; that's the best way I have come to describe it. I feel like maybe, just maybe, I have found my mission. At Stake Conference this weekend, a man spoke about "finding our individual mission", our God-given mission, and then pursuing it whole-heartedly in His name. I think maybe, just maybe, I might have found mine. Education is key, my friends, to changing the world. And I don't just mean secular education.Education is the path to happiness, to peace, to success in every aspect of life. I truly believe it. And for me, education is my mission on this earth. Not a typical mission, but my God-given mission. The road less traveled by. . .

For most of my life I have felt like Heavenly Father has lead me down the path less traveled. Over and over again, my experiences and choices often seem uncommon, unique, and somewhat bizarre. To me, this is Heavenly Father letting me know He's always there. . .  and simultaneously keeping me amused. ;)

I thank Him for his patience. . . oh, His kind, unwavering patience and direction. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

What is your mission?