The Mountaintops.

There was a period in my life where I thought I knew what God wanted from me, and had planned for my future. But then, when He asked me to blindly walk away from that, I was left feeling very confused, upset, and--at times, though I hate to admit it--bitter.

Because of the confusion I felt, I spent a lot of time trying to understand why God would ask this of me. I studied the scriptures, read countless talks from leaders of the church, and earnestly prayed more than I probably ever have in my life. Why did I have to endure this terrible heartache?

I remember one day, during a difficult period in my life, reading back on old journal entries. As I read, I stumbled upon the quote that finally explained why God had asked this of me:

"Sometimes in our sowing and reaping and sifting, it may seem that God says 'no' or 'not now' or 'I don’t think so' when what we want for him to say—what we wish our tapestry to receive—is an affirmative 'yes' or 'certainly, right now' or 'of course it can be yours.' I want you to know that in my life when I have had disappointments and delays, I have lived to see that if I continue to knock with unshakable faith and persist in My patience—waiting upon the Lord and his calendar—I have discovered that the Lord’s 'no’s' are merely preludes to an even greater 'yes.' I have learned in the twenty-five years since I was your age that the very delays and denials we worry about most, the very differences from each other that trouble our self-esteem, are the differences and delays that are the very best for our happiness and fulfillment." Patricia T. Holland

And weeks later, while visiting the home of a friend's grandparents in an entirely different state on a totally happenstance occasion, I read this quote on the fridge:

"Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can't see the Lord's hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness." President Uchtdorf

I had been in one of those deep valleys of life, where you feel like the future is dull and void of purpose. But, because of the love of God and His patience with me, I have been lifted from that dark place. Usually we can't see what the Lord can, the marvelous future that awaits us, while in the deep valleys of our lives. We get stuck in the dark places, lose sight of those things most important to us, and begin to waiver in our faith and trust in God.

It's important to always have an open and willing heart, because sometimes the Lord wants to teach us important lessons in the most unexpected ways and places. I tried to understand these messages, and I thought I did at the time, but since then they have taken on much deeper meaning.  I heard these messages many months ago, but it wasn't until today that I could fully understand them and their purpose in my life. These messages, which I like to believe were answers from my Heavenly Father, have been a guiding light in my life. They have given hope, and I finally feel like I can now understand them.

I have had moments like these in my life, as well all do I would assume--pleading for God to remove heartache or trials that seemed, at the time, too much to bear. But how grateful I am to him that he didn't because they have always proved to be the times that paved the way for the greatest growth, understanding, and happiness in my life. Those moments of deep heartache have prepared me to see more of God's plan for my life--without the trial, I could never have been prepared for the more glorious future that God had prepared for me. When we put our trust in God completely and fully, He will bless us ABUNDANTLY--sometimes immediately, but I'd argue more often in time.

To those who are currently in a dark place: keep pressing forward with faith in God. He has a glorious future planned for those who trust in Him and are willing to walk through the deep, dark valleys on road to the bright, glorious mountaintops.