With Healing in His Wings

**I wrote the first half of this blog entry nearly 4 months ago {has it really been that long?!). Looking back on it, it's so comforting to see how the Lord has worked in my life since then.

"I am satisfied, I know it is so, that whenever a man has a true witness in his heart of the living reality of the Lord Jesus Christ, all else will come together as it should...That is the root from which all virtue springs among those who call themselves latter-day saints."
-Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley (1996)


The other day, I found myself feeling rather ungrateful. I was whining to my roommate how I feel like in the past year, nothing has gone "right". And the moment those words escaped my lips, I began to regret them. Since then, those words have burrowed a spot in my mind and won't let it rest.

For the past few months, I have felt incredibly stagnant. I feel like I'm not doing anything of importance. I feel like I'm not improving, and learning. I feel like I'm not helping anyone but myself, and that feeling alone brings me the greatest discontentment and self-dissatisfaction. I just feel like I'm coasting through life without passion and purpose and sacrifice. I need to be anxiously engaged in a good cause, or else I find myself wanting for greater purpose.

And I think my statement that nothing has gone "right" in the past year stems from my stagnant feelings and my internal definition of what I think is "right" for me. I was frustrated about my mission (or lack thereof). I was feeling down because right now, I'm not going to school and I don't currently have a job. I feel like my calling doesn't allow me to serve because I haven't the foggiest idea what a "Emergency Preparedness Co-Coordinator" even does. Blah blah blah, woe is me...

And that is why I believe those words were muttered. They were spoken out of ingratitude rather than optimism and gratitude. I have been INCREDIBLY blessed in the past year. It has truly been the best year of my life, full of so many amazing opportunities and learning-experiences. Just because it hasn't gone exactly as I planned doesn't mean it hasn't gone exactly as HE has planned, which is of greater importance anyways. Everything will come together as if should, I know it is so, because of my witness of and faith in my living Savior, Jesus Christ. A life lived in full is a life lived under the direction of Christ, with Him, and the Holy Spirit, teaching, guiding, and leading every step of the way.

*********************************************************************************

Fast-forward 4 months. I now have a blessed job, and I'm currently in the thick of a rough semester. I'm TAing for Anatomy again, and volunteering at the Utah State Mental Hospital in the Physical Therapy department. I'm involved in a rockstar program called Anatomy Academy, and to me it's like a dream come true, teaching elementary aged kids about anatomy, physiology, nutrition, and helping them gain healthy relationships with their bodies. I'm forming new friendships, and developing the one's I already have. I've learned to love my calling as a Visiting Teacher, and the Lord is teaching me every single day, about life and the gospel of Jesus Christ. My life is so full to the brim that my worries and cares only 4 short months ago seem so petty. I've grown since then, and I've learned a lot. The Lord really is my daily teacher, it's so beautiful to me. It's funny to look back at my short-sided cares and see that even then, the Lord cared. And even now, I know He cares. He has the capacity to heal us all, regardless of the severity of our situation. With healing in His wings, He has healed me time and time again. I echo Gordon B. Hinckley's testimony "that whenever a man has a true witness in his heart of the living reality of the Lord Jesus Christ, all else will come together as it should." With a little time and patience and perspective {or sometimes a lot} or time, all will be well and right. Maybe not as I plan it {gosh, that's never the case, and thank goodness} but as He plans it.

Sometimes it just takes a little time {and courage} to see that. ;)

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